Office Etiquette

When I started my new job a few weeks ago, I was given a manual with instructions on how to operate the telephone. I did not think I needed an actual manual until…someone called me and left a message. Now, there is an abnormally large orange blinking light on my phone and I cannot retrieve the message. I tried to access my voicemail but, since I don’t know the original password, it wouldn’t allow me to change it. I referred to the phone manual but it said the administrator needs to access a website to reset the password. This all seems very complicated for a phone. The administrator is not in the office and will not return until next week. So, I sat at my desk feeling ill all day with my annual asthma / bronchitis / tuberculosis / chest congestion and a headache while the orange light blinked in my face. Somehow that made my head hurt worse.

As I sounded like I needed an iron lung and oxygen mask, I felt the need to explain to my new co-workers that I was not contagious. I’m sure at least one of them thought I was exhibiting poor office etiquette and was thinking, “For God’s sake, if you’re sick, stay home!!” That made me think of my personal Top 20ish Office Do’s and Don’ts:

DO try to see the good in everybody...unless they are just no good

DO keep unscented Germ-X on hand and use it

DO keep a well-stocked snack drawer complete with condiments and be willing to share

DO fix the printer if you are the one who jammed it

DO say "good morning" even if you're not a morning person

DO have a sense of humor

DO try to do something nice for at least one person a day…what goes around comes around

DON’T yawn, sigh, moan or groan every 30 seconds…you’re bringing me down

DON’T repeat your latest unfunny joke/story all morning…we heard you the first time(s)…it was not funny

DON’T loud talk someone else’s error but whisper about your own

DON’T wake me if I nod off

DON’T be judgmental or condescending in an effort to feel better about yourself…it just makes you look small(er)

DON’T overdo strong perfume/cologne or jingly jewelry

DON’T eat tuna at your desk for lunch…not everyone loves it as much as you

DON’T conduct a conversation with another co-worker at someone else’s desk when that someone else is not part of that conversation and trying to work…go to your own desk

DON’T use speaker phone when dialing, listening to music “on hold,” or when talking…just don’t use speaker phone

DON’T take your responsibilities or your place in the company too seriously…unless you’re a neurosurgeon, you do not hold life and death in your hands and, unless you are the owner, you are replaceable

(note: I wrote this entry last week...the next day I came down with the flu and was sick, sick, sick)