Layla (7 years old): "Lauryn will be starting a new pre-school on Monday."
Me: (well over 30 years old): "Oh wow, I'm starting a new job on Monday."
Lauryn (3 years old): "Did you get fired?"
Layla: "No, she quit."
Lauryn: "Well, I quitted my pre-school and I'm going to a new pre-school like you."
I did feel like I was going to a new pre-school on Monday. I'm very attached to my old pre-school and all the cool kids. I wasn't at all worried about learning a new job or computer system but rather who I'd be working with. Who are these people? Would they appreciate my baking? (Turns out 100% of the complimentary sodas are diet so I think my baking will be frowned upon.) Would they find my OCD endearing? Would they get that I have a nervous laugh at inappropriate moments? So much to worry about.
So far everything has gone well my first week apart from my usual daily moments of public embarrassment:
Monday - First thing, I got locked in the bathroom stall for several minutes. Fortunately, I didn't have to crawl under the stall or be rescued by a new co-worker.
Tuesday - Because my computer and phone weren't working, I was moved from my corner cubicle with relative privacy to a central cubicle within full view of 4 people. I really tried hard to control my OCD but I couldn't help placing something in one spot, then moving it to another spot, then moving it to yet another spot, then straightening it, etc. Then I had to adjust my chair height, re-run my phone and cords to the opposite side of my desk (why on earth would I want it on my left side??), adjust and re-adjust my dual monitors so they are perfectly even, swap out paper trays for ones that matched, hook up my beloved automatic stapler, place my "groceries" one by one in the drawer to my left and then decide I want to move everything one by one to the drawer to my right. Oy, I know they were watching me but I couldn't help it.
Wednesday - Because it's the little things that make me utterly giddy, I indulged in the complimentary flavored coffee (6 or 7 varieties, thank you) and was carrying it back to my desk. As I left the breakroom, the cup was pleasantly warm in my cold hands. But, as I walked down the long hallway towards my desk, the cup quickly got hotter and hotter and hotter and the skin on my fingers and palms received third degree burns. There was nowhere to put the cup down so I had to toggle it between my fingers and palms. OMG, my eyes were literally tearing up by the time I got to my desk. The groan of pain was the cherry on the top and I'm sure was inwardly amusing to my new co-workers. I think I will suggest that they splurge for better insulated cups at the next meeting. I can't work for a workers comp insurance company and file a workers comp claim on my third day!!! Basically, the crazy is starting to oooze out and it's just Wednesday.
